Mike Macdonald said the first months after the Seattle Seahawks hired him in January 2024 were the most difficult stretch of his life, in an episode of “In Depth With Graham Bensinger” released Wednesday.
ESPN reported that the interview was recorded over the summer. Macdonald said there were days he could barely get out of bed.
“It was paralyzing,” Macdonald said. “It was hard to move.”
Macdonald is 39. Seattle hired him away from Baltimore, where he was the Ravens’ defensive coordinator, to replace Pete Carroll. The hire made him the NFL’s youngest head coach.
He stopped short of calling it depression.
“It was an extremely difficult time,” Macdonald said. “I’ve never felt like that in my life. I was sick. I’d go home, I’d get in bed as soon as I got home. I wouldn’t get out of bed until I went to work. I’d be late going to work.”
“But is it depression? I don’t know. Maybe,” Macdonald continued. “I find it hard to self-diagnose depression. There’s serious cases of depression that are clinically diagnosed.”
Most of the strain came from the pressure he put on himself in his first head-coaching job. He and his wife, Stephanie, were also dealing with the sudden death of their 4-year-old dog.
He wanted to be right all the time, before he knew what right looked like.
“That was the weight I was carrying,” Macdonald said. “There’s a burden that I felt like I was holding because we weren’t where we wanted to be, and I wasn’t clear on what to do. That can be a lonely, tough feeling.”
His wife and his two sisters were the people he talked to. He also rebuilt a routine around his physical health, with two hourlong walks a day, workouts, calls to players and better eating. He told Bensinger he had been drinking a lot.
“If I could get some physical, personal wins, then I could just start stacking those things,” Macdonald said.
At some point during the 2024 season, Macdonald told general manager John Schneider he felt like himself again.
Seattle went 10-7 that year and missed the playoffs. In 2025, the Seahawks went 14-3 and beat New England in Super Bowl LX for the franchise’s second championship.
Macdonald now jokes with his coaches about how he led in Year 1.
“I was not a great leader my first year,” Macdonald said. “It sucks to say that, but I just fell short in so many different ways — an awareness and a trust and a communication style, just wasn’t the best version of myself.”
Joy was the word he reached for first.
“I have joy,” Macdonald said. “Am I always happy, I think I’m happy.”
Seattle opened this season with a 13-10 win over New England on Sept. 9. Sam Darnold left that game after five plays with a glute injury, and he has been ruled out for Sunday.
Drew Lock will start. In relief against the Patriots, he completed 16 of 22 passes for 187 yards and a touchdown, a 45-yard score to Jaxon Smith-Njigba on fourth-and-1.
The Seahawks have beaten Arizona nine straight times.
Seattle visits the Arizona Cardinals at State Farm Stadium on Sunday at 3:25 p.m. CT.
